parallel channels run, like liquid gold down the slope of a volcano.
consider these with me
there is what flows through the earthly channel, right –
the sleeping and the waking, the food and the drinks,
the streets and the crowds, the highrise buildings and the dips in the sidewalks,
the clothes on my body.
i have been letting my hair grow out, the beard and the mustache,
and not shaved my head for a few weeks now.
doesn’t seem like a big deal, right, but it changes my appearance.
i was asked if i’m in disguise.
that was a good laugh.
there is the literature i’ve found lately, and its creators,
and the multimedia they present.
wild stuff! had i tried reading it before, perhaps nonsense.
now, hypnotic, in a way. the inexplicable explained; very smart people
doing their best to contain the universe within syllables;
really lovely prose but sometimes too dense for me, that i get lost,
and the rhythm of the saints knocks like wind pushing branches
against the brick walls of houses but difficult to follow.
there is the magic; a thread through like lightning,
healthy and slow-moving, clear and concise within reason,
certainly luck involved, but i put in the work for my own internal gears,
to accept affection when the time was right.
there is the meditative state.
i have followed the rules. 20 minutes twice per day without fail.
and each one is different.
they are supposed to relate to the literature, but i haven’t put in the hours yet
to really grasp the more ethereal connections.
i found a consistent position for my hands; not touching, palms up,
resting on my hip creases while i’m sitting cross-legged,
right ankle over left. it’s been working to separate
perceptive lenses, and a new triangle of energy between forehead and wrists.
sometime in this intersection between sleeping and waking and dreaming,
maybe i too will become a large insect, transform
into a monster and chew thoughtful on a piece of apple
while admiring my new red shoes
there is the state of my body;
all this practice moving my bones and muscles and tendons
into the poses of a dancer, and progress one day
and regression the next when i’m in such crucial pain,
but hopefully when it is healed i will have the body of a supermodel,
existing down in a perfectly balanced horse stance,
my tailbone floating at the right height while i shift
the weight in my legs, pushing from the back toe while it pivots,
and stopping the motion of my fingers at the exact right moment
to cast a spell of peace
on the world, a sweet dusting of kindness, a sleep potion
also the state of my body, after a night of art and alcohol and sparks
i wander back to the couch two hours after the witches and warlocks come out,
but short hours later i am awake, still drunk,
to get on the train to be the last man back with an oar in the water on my left,
pushing a dragon boat forward to the cadence of the trainer,
who says to me during a break – “may i ask where you come from? and why you’re in taiwan?”
i have answers for these things, but they are short and incomplete,
because the full answers sound more like nonsense than reason.
also the state of my body, i walked into a pharmacy and asked for an equivalent
to a medicine back in the US, and conversations with three helpful folks
found me leaving with 20 unidentified pills – 10 of one and 10 of another, they are
supposed to work in tandem – with instructions that if I somehow was allergic to
one or the other, i should come back and return them.
these parallel channels,
like liquid gold running down the sides of a volcano,
make it challenging for me to capture myself,
as the degree of uncertainty how they all fit together
is beyond the scope of my own understanding
